Entry January 20, 2007
In the words of Lois Lane of Superman:
They say sometimes when people are (unspoken)
Sometimes they can hear you.
Who would have thought that Superman returns will make a person whose heart is as hard as a rock shed tears. Those words brought me back to the day when I bathed with the song californication by red hot chilli peppers in the background. After that unordinary day I hated that song for the rest of my life.
It was on that day that my moms voice alarmed everyone including me who was in the shower. They made me hurry up so that we could rush to the hospital where my lola was confined.
I miss my lola badly that I cant even think on what to type after the next word I type here.(pause)
What happened on that day could still be perfectly recalled in my mind up to this very moment. Everyone rushed to the hospital. Mom finally parked our car infront of the hospital as I got out of the car, I stared up upon the cloudy sky as my eyes lead me to my lola’s room window.
Hurried footsteps brought us to my Lola’s room. No one knew when my Lola’s final hour would be. It was my very first time to witness death infront of my very eyes. I went into the room where my lola was and was the only one who didn’t gather around her bed. I sat down on the couch and opened the tv and worst tuned in to MTV.
I recall. It was MTV UNPLUGGED and Lauryn Hill was playing while my lola’s last hour was fast approaching. When they noticed me alone in the couch my mom called me and said “nika, come now and talk to mamang”.. hesitantly I said “I don’t want to, she can’t even hear me” shaking my head hardly and staring down then forced myself to watch Lauryn once again. What reason was behind that? I myself can’t find an explanation for that. Mom answered back “no she can hear you”.. Then I forced myself to do so.. As I approached her bed I DID NOT utter anything.. Because I do not want people to see me cry, not even my own family.
It was really hard to see her go with out even saying goodbye. Maybe I was telling myself that time that Lola still wont go or that would be just a false alarm. I tried talking to her in my mind with a joke in hand “mamang if you die don’t make multo to me” .. Seriously I did that. I was that one great apo who did that..
But I know mamang understands that her grandchild was such a chicken. And the reason? Maybe I know what it is.. but I’ll keep it all to myself for now since I myself can’t figure it out fully.
But I think Loise Lane was right..
I think Mamang did hear me.. Wanna know why?
Simply because she answered my joke. =)
P.S Mamang if your soul knows how to surf the net by this time and of course you telepathically got my blog’s URL by reading my mind.. I want you to know this..
I Love You Mamang. We all miss you so much.
